i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize