Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
