I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
