Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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