uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
