its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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