I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
