What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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