Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
