That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
