thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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