he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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