If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
