that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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