I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
