I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
