Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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