marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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