The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
