Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
