she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
