i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
