you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
