I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
