I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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