I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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