My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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