i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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