I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize