Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
