I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
