I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just want to make out with him forever
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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