Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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