bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
