your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
