I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
