Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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