if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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