You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
