im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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