I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
