i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
