I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
