I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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