I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
