Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
