Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
