I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
