I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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