he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
