i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
