please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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