hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
