I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
