ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
