oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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