i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
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Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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